I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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