Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
