My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
