Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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