I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Mom said you looked used
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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