my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
