Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
