Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
