you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
