He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
