We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
