I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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