I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
