Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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