sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize