i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
