Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
