you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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