census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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