i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
