Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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