that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
