I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
