you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize