Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just googled if crying burns calories
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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