oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
