fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
