he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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