I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
