It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
