My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
third nipple confirmed
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
