I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
