I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
