I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just had sex on a roof
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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