she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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