Tell her she can't have a vagina
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
