you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
