Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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