We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
