we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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