so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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