It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
