I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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