The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
