Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
