can we get nightvision for the apartment?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
