wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
