Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
