Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
