so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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