he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
