Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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