Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
