you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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