So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
