Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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