when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
