Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
