who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
